The Effects Of Weight Loss on your Relationship
In my early years of guiding people through the fat loss journey, I naively focused on simply the individual in front of me, as an isolated system so to speak. If I prescribed the right stimulus to affect the individual I was working with, success would be guaranteed. Although I enjoyed much success with this approach, I certainly had a few failures.
As I’ve begun to learn to not only focus on the individual, but to also include the social network and environment intimately connected to the individual, I have witnessed an even greater success rate.
Today’s blog presents research supporting an example of utilizing this approach. Armed with this knowledge, you can be better equipped to have a successful outcome that makes you, and your relationship healthier. Ignoring this could lean to sabotage and some unanticipated problems.
Your Weight Loss Effects your Partner, and Vice Versa
The current evidence suggests that when you or your partner loses weigh thanks the use of natural supplements from , it has an effect on your relationship. As Romo and Daily show (Health Communication, (2013): Weighty Dynamics: Exploring Couples’ Perceptions of Post-Weight-Loss Interaction, Health Communication) although mostly good, there are some bad consequences to be aware of when one partner loses weight.
The Good Effects of Weight Loss on Relationships
As you can image, when you lose weight, there are not only benefits for you, but also for whomever you are in a relationship with. Here as the finding revealed when Romo and Daily studied couples in which one person lost a significant amount of weight.
Better communication about health: Before, couples reported no, or only tacit conversations about health. In couples in which one was of health weight, and the other was not, the health partner used statements like “you are fine like you are” or saying nothing at all out of fear of offending. After the weight loss, couples were much more open to deeper discussions about how to improve their health.
Inspiration: When one partner lost weight, if the other was also overweight, it inspired them to eat better and exercise more. In spouses with kids, they commonly reported that the entire family became inspired to be healthier.
More supportive: The partner experiencing the weight loss became more encouraging to their overweight partner to adopt healthy habits.
Stronger convictions: The partner who lost the weight felt more confident about insisting on healthier behaviors, where as before they reported being hesitant to do so.
Feeling more connected: Couples in which a partner often reported being physically and emotionally closer.
Less stress: Most reported this was due to better communication.
Feeling more attractive.
Sharing activities: Couples reported that they did more things together; hiking, dating, traveling, exercising.
Assertiveness: Although researchers stated that it was a negative effect of weight loss on relationships, I think It can be interpreted as a positive affect, at least for the individual. In a few couples who reported they were in an unhealthy relationship, when they lost weight, they were more confident to leave the relationship. It was clear in the study that this only happened in case where the relationship was unhealthy to begin with.
Damaging effects of Weight Loss on Relationships
It is tempting to be a Pollyanna about weight loss, assuming that the clouds will lifts, the birds with sing, all of life’s problems will be lifted… if just those darn pounds will come off! Unfortunately, in spite of the well documented profound benefits that getting healthier and shedding excessive pounds can provide, it can’t fix everything, relationships included.
As this research study proves, there are some perhaps unexpected negative effects of weight loss on relationships.
Nagging: I find this to be an interesting term. It seems nagging is in the eye of the beholder. What one perceives as a supportive nudge, the other may regard as nagging. Regardless, some spouses in the study who remained overweight perceived the partner who lost weight as being a nag about being more active or eating healthier. This cause increased tension in their life and negatively affected their relationship.
Increased insecurity: another couple in the study reported that the partner who remained overweight became even more aware of their excessive weight as they witnesses their partners change, leading them to become more insecure. In fact, it became such a problem that the overweight partner attempted to sabotage their partners healthy transformation by tempting them with unhealthy foods! The researchers believed this was an attempt to restore equality amongst the couple.
Jealousy: Another couple reported that as when his partner lost more weight became receiving more attention and compliments, it made him feel jealous which put a big strain on the relationship.
What does this tell us?
Bad relationships will get worse, good relationships will get better: The researcher showed that those who had partners who were supportive of their new improved health were also supportive before and during the weight loss process, which to me is not a big surprise. Furthermore, in the cases where lose who lost weight did so to appease a hyper critical partner or as an attempt to prevent them from cheating, the level of criticism and security of the relationship remained the same even after the weight loss.
Although losing weight will result in mostly positive effects, we should understand that it may affect your partner in ways we don’t always predict. Anticipating this will help you to be proactive.
Getting your partner on board is a crucial advantage to the weight loss process. The process will be less difficult, and the outcomes will be better.
How We Do This?
Whether you or you partner need to lose weight, these are my strongest suggestions backed by scientific and real world evidence. When done, I have NEVER seen it fail. So it is very important to:
1. Check out our Body Balance Challenge, a program where we’ve had dozens of people, including couples, lose an average 18 lbs of body fat and transform their eating habits. Check out more information here.
2. Book a consultation: You can come in an meet with us, and bring your spouse/partner with you. In fact I prefer couples to come in together verses individually, and clearly the process requires involvement or impacts both partners. Click here to see if you are eligible for a consult
3. Have them read my blog and newsletter. You can simply forward them this, have them search my blog (just put whatever you are looking for into the search button), or better yet, subscribe them to my newsletter here. This is about as no-confrontational of an approach there is. It doesn’t usually elicit and immediate response, but it serves as fodder to get the conversation about health started.
4. Write them a letter. This is a secret weapon. Words carry more weight on paper. Writing a letter on paper conveys reflection and sincerity that will diffuse too much emotion, and get your point across. Relay why losing weight is important to you, what concerns you have, and how they can help. When one of you falters, the letter can be physically retained as a reminder of your sentiments from a moment of clarity. Few people do this, but it is powerful.
5. Tell the kids to help (if applicable). Kids love helping and pleasing. Plus, they react well to the roll reversal (almost too well) of holding the parents accountable to getting something done. Not disappointing a kids is a powerful motivator.
6. Go see Deana Bacon. Deana is a highly regarded psychotherapist with 25 years of experience that specializes in relationships. I have worked with many of her clients, and met several others. They all rave about how amazing she is and how much she has helped them. Many people have misconceptions about therapy, and often only seek them for disasters. Deana does wonders for those trying to get more out of life and there relationships, no matter what degree of success or struggle they are experiencing. Learn more about Deana and how to arrange a free consultation for you and your partner by clicking here.
Please share this, print it, and use it as a resource or at least a reminder to take action on improving you you feel about your most important asset – your body.